Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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