I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
