yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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