Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
