Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
