She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
