soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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