Got a toothbrush?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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