Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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