I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
