Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
