Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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