my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
