peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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