There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
