If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
