You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
