...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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