Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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