I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
