WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
