butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
