Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I could fuck to npr.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
