just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
