dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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