Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
