I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
