Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
