A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
