3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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