I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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