For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
It was confusing and full of hummus
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
