Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I licked your asshole in confidence.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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