I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
