My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
