420 ftw
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I am available for nakedness
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
