so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
