this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
