Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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