It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
