you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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