Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
tell me about the fingering
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
