I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
