so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
