Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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