are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
