Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Randomize
