Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
