so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
