Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
