Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
